i don't know which way the earth spins

i don't know which way the earth spins
all i know is there is motion under my feet
dizzying and fast, and full of tension
like a roller coaster car at the top of the drop
and the world takes a breath
my head both spinning and still
i wait for the bottom to fall out
and the rush of thrills and whissshing wind
and hope

My Heart Is Full To Bursting

I know everyone's already seen this video, and no one really reads this blog anyway, but I want to post it. My heart is full to bursting with excitement and mourning, joy and bereavement. I'm so glad that others will be getting to experience what I have, but I'm grieving the goodbyes that soon must be said. But I know in my heart that this is right, and I'm stunned and thrilled by the response of those that call The Anchor Fellowship home. I've never seen a group of believers this large be this unified. God is doing something in Nashville, and it's spreading to Portland and London next. Don't know that I've ever felt such joy, however bittersweet it might be.

In A Good Way

I think that God is stirring something up in me, though I don't know what. All I know is my dreams of years have been bubbling to the surface to meet new interests and possibilities. I feel certain that me a year from now will be far different than me right now. In a good way.

That is all. My stomach's been hurting all day, and I want sleeeeep.....

something's leapt within me

something's leapt within me

and it is i know not what

all i know is change has come

and it is only beautiful

something's leapt within me

and i can feel a motion poised

that weightlessness before a freefall

and it is only beautiful

something's leapt within me

like the baptist in his mother's womb

LOVE is here and he is moving

and it is only beautiful

i would follow my heart but

i would follow my heart but

my heart is split in three

and all three pieces

well they are beautiful

and perfect

and right

all my dreams

all my loves

collected on shelves

gathering dust

like vinyl in a digital world

oh crazy you

you gave the shelf a good shove

and toppled my collections over me

blissful rediscovery

little nudges little nudges

tiny hints you'll give to me

of that i have no doubt

but what for now

i would follow my heart but

my heart is split in three

and all three pieces

well they are beautiful

and perfect

and right

Things That Make Me Happy

Things that make me happy:

1. The first day after winter that reaches 70°.

2. Oceans.

3. Green trees and red-brick buildings on a rainy day.

4. Any music involving Jón Þór Birgisson.

5. "Billy Elliot"

6. Every note The Edge plays on guitar.

7. Vinyl records.

8. When a boss tells me I'm doing a good job. Most bosses never do that for anyone.

9. When "Tubthumping" comes up on my iPhone when I've got it on shuffle.

10. Lea hugs.

11. Kids at the Anchor.

12. Flash mobs.

13. Surprises (good ones, anyways).

14. Seeing my friends' dreams falling into place.

15. Visiting places I've never been to before.

16. Wandering up and down streets of busy cities.

17. Thai food.

18. Great dancers performing great choreography, like on SYTYCD

19. Arbitrary humor.

20. The key change in "Man In The Mirror"

21. The "Single Ladies" dance on GLEE.

22. Cody Ross getting national attention as NLCS MVP, then picking up a World Series ring.

23. Bono singing Pavarotti's part in "Miss Sarajevo" live.

24. Oregon.

25. Playing music with a band.

26. The Marlins building a stadium of their own.

27. Dancing when no one's looking.

28. Kevin Bender making a strike three call.

29. Nina Simone.

30. Daydreaming.

31. That video clip of Susan Boyle making her first appearance on Britain's Got Talent.

32. Road trips.

33. Blueberries.

34. A beer with friends.

35. Chocolate raspberry anything.

36. Helping throw surprise birthday parties for people.

i don't need no candles

candles, i don't

i don't

eh

i don't need no candles

i've got a fire in my gut

burning slow and steady

no, i don't need no candles

if i'd get 'em all in just one breath

and the wish i wish come true

you'd smile that smile and thrilled accept

this proffered heart I gift to you

i don't need no candles

like stars in the sky

i've got a spark in my eye

no, i don't need no candles

...

i...

i hope you know

what power you have

it's in your breath

one breath

upon the fires that burn in me

can stoke them to a roaring blaze

and forge in me a man of steel

a man of strength

a man to rule the world

but

one breath

spitefully, carelessly placed

the fire is gone

sending smoky tendrils up like

in(no)sense

oh you'll get your wish all right

...

...

...

still

for now

i don't need no candles

i've got a fire in my gut

i've got a spark in my eye

no, i don't need no candles

i am the last tree standing

i am the last tree standing

there was a forest

and now there's not

just me to the wind exposed

would that it were that i was hardy

but that is hardly so

wood though i am

i am so for naught and not of use

barren trunk and twisted boughs

foliage thinning

like an old man's hair

oh how nature's had its way with me

i will never be a beam to hold

a roof above your head

or many printed pages

painting stories on your imagination

a rocking chair with rest for the weary

or sleep for little ones

or a guitar to cradle

when all your words have failed your heart

i am the last tree standing

and still pretending

that some charlie brown

will dress me in a suitable ornament

nonetheless

today i miss a father

when a boy

i taught myself

to throw a baseball

to sing something like a tune

to write a song

to wonder at the world

i figured out boys

are meant to be this and that

i figured out girls

will never be figured out

when boy morphed into man

i taught myself

to get around from place to place

to work like a man

is in his own hands

and his word's his word

and reputation is sacred

i figured out i'm not like you

or you

or you

i'm me

i figured out that GOD is meant

to be sought for like a diamond

to be fought for like a home

to be got for all the blood and sweat and tears

he's given me

when man becomes a boy again

surrounded by chaos by questions

and wonders at the world

so massive and so small

i teach myself

to steel my spine

to grit my teeth

to not let nothing

nothing in

a man's a man

for a that an' a that

and this is just the way life is

it's a step at a time at best

i figured out that love is blind

to hearts like mine

that bleed and scab

and bleed and scab

that are given and given again

and know they will not be taken

i figured out that GOD is good

nonetheless

and

and

today i miss a father

Jónsi Pt. 2

Holy crap, what an amazing show Jónsi put on! The man is a frakkin' genius.

The band was clearly having a blast; the bow at the end collapsed into an impromptu wrestling match.

Oh man, it will be the greatest crime of century if this tour isn't documented on DVD.

Jónsi Pt. 1

Sunday night Kevin Bruchert and I headed down to The Tabernacle in Atlanta to see Jónsi on his solo tour. And man, was it an incredible show; it easily ranks at or near the top of the list of best performances I've seen. The music was glorious, the mood of the evening was carefree and jubilant, and the video work projected on the backdrop was matchless.

The opening act was Mountain Man--a trio of young ladies that sang a capella or with a single acoustic guitar, and that have no doubt broken many a hipster lad's heart. It was old-fashioned Appalachian singin', and a wee bit bawdy (in an adorable way) at times.

Unfortunately, for various reasons, my photos of the night didn't always turn out the best, so I've decided to view them as "happy accidents" and mangle them further on iPhoto.

I have trouble finding enough superlatives to describe Jónsi's performance. You could see that he and the band were having a blast, from their appearance in more exaggerated face paint and outfits than usual, to the final bow that devolved into a playful wrestling match. You can just tell that he loves what he's doing and is genuinely grateful for the response his music gets.

More to come...