nonetheless

today i miss a father

when a boy

i taught myself

to throw a baseball

to sing something like a tune

to write a song

to wonder at the world

i figured out boys

are meant to be this and that

i figured out girls

will never be figured out

when boy morphed into man

i taught myself

to get around from place to place

to work like a man

is in his own hands

and his word's his word

and reputation is sacred

i figured out i'm not like you

or you

or you

i'm me

i figured out that GOD is meant

to be sought for like a diamond

to be fought for like a home

to be got for all the blood and sweat and tears

he's given me

when man becomes a boy again

surrounded by chaos by questions

and wonders at the world

so massive and so small

i teach myself

to steel my spine

to grit my teeth

to not let nothing

nothing in

a man's a man

for a that an' a that

and this is just the way life is

it's a step at a time at best

i figured out that love is blind

to hearts like mine

that bleed and scab

and bleed and scab

that are given and given again

and know they will not be taken

i figured out that GOD is good

nonetheless

and

and

today i miss a father